Toxic Charity

As a follow-up to “When Helping Hurts,” “Toxic Charity,” by Robert Lupton, shows  ”how churches and charities hurt those they help.” 

Robert Lupton is the founder and president of FCS Urban Ministries. “In his four decades of urban ministries, Lupton has experienced firsthand how our good intentions can have unintended, dire consequences” (from the dust jacket of “Toxic Charity”).

What I like most about this book is that it is written by someone who has been in the trenches of urban ministry for his entire career and knows what he is talking about. He understands that though the heart of every well meaning Christian is to help others in need, almost no one is going about it effectively.

Lupton explains that this dichotomy comes from both our ignorance of what makes our help truly helpful and a predominant attitude in our churches that it is simply easier to do what we’ve always done even though we know our efforts are ineffective. As one church lady admitted to him when asked about this said, “Churches want their members to feel good about serving the poor, but no one really wants to become involved in messy relationships.” (Page 57)

Lupton’s solution is The Oath for Compassionate Service. It is “for compassionate people who desire to serve the poor effectively.”  It says …

• Never do for the poor what they have (or could have) the capacity to do for themselves.
• Limit one-way giving to emergency situations.
• Strive to empower the poor through employment, lending, and investing, using grants to reinforce achievement.
• Subordinate self-interests to the needs of those being served.
• Listen closely to those you seek to help, especially to what is not being said - unspoken feelings may contain essential clues to effective service.
• Above all, do no harm.

This book also offers many practical tips and “how to’s” to help those wanting to make a difference to implement a “transformational charity” plan in their community.  It is a great and captivating read. 

When Helping Hurts

In the preface of “When Helping Hurts,” the authors state that “this book focuses on appropriate ways for a North American congregation - and its missionaries - to participate in poverty alleviation at home and abroad, taking into account the God-ordained mission of the church and the typical church’s organizational capacity.”

The key word here is “appropriate.” When we go about our helping ministries in ways that are not appropriate we end up doing more harm than good. Although this is not our intention, of course, it is often the result of our well-meaning efforts to meet the needs of others.

This book is an effective tool for evaluating a church’s helping ministries approach. The authors begin by detailing the different types of help people need in crisis being either “immediate relief,” “long-term rehabilitation,” or “ongoing development.”  They also point out that the church’s response often doesn’t match the type of need that exists, resulting in hurting those they are trying to help instead. “One of the biggest mistakes that North American churches make - by far - is in applying relief in situations in which rehabilitation or development is the appropriate intervention (page 105).”

The key lesson for the churches of North America to learn is that our greatest need, as helpers, is to become better listeners. We then need to find ways to get to know those we are seeking to help while also inviting them to work with us to develop appropriate ways to meet their material needs.

In Everything, Give Thanks!

To encourage his friends in Thessalonica who were facing persecution for their belief in Jesus Paul wrote, “… give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.” (1 Thessalonians 5:18)

This reminds me of a story I read some years ago about two teachers meeting back on campus after not seeing one another for many years. The first one said,  “I’ve gotten married since we last met. Oh, that’s good!” said the second.  “Well, I don’t know about that. My husband is twice as old as I am. Oh, that’s bad. Well, I don’t know about that. He’s worth a million dollars. Oh, that’s good. Well, I don’t know about that. He won’t give me a cent. Oh, that’s bad. Well, I don’t know about that. He did build me a $200,000 house. Oh, that’s good. Well, I don’t know about that. It burned down last week. Oh, that’s bad. Well, I don’t know about that. He was in it.”  The point being, In everything, give thanks!

God is not saying that we are to be thankful for everything… but to be thankful in everything. In the midst of all of life’s circumstances we can give God thanks because we know He is good; He is faithful; and He is at work in our lives.  

We do this by acknowledging what God has done for us even when it’s not obvious. It’s being aware of God’s activity on our behalf in every circumstance of life. There’s an old story about a hog that got loose in an apple orchard one day. He feasted happily on fruit that had fallen on the ground and ate his fill without ever realizing that source of his banquet was the tree overhead. Giving thanks to God is acknowledging that He is our Source of all of our blessings and provisions in life.

We do this by appreciating what God has done for us. Maturing Christians have a growing attitude of gratitude in all circumstance of life while those not growing have a grumbling attitude most of the time. 

We do this by faith. Paul was able to give this instruction because of his own conviction that in any and all circumstances he knew that God was at work on his behalf, “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.”  Romans 8:28

It’s a matter of having the right perspective. 

There’s a story of a wagon train on the Oregon Trail. Things were not going very well. Water and grass had been scarce for many days. Some of the wagons broke down and a general feeling of worry replaced an early sense of optimism.

It was decided a meeting would be held to air their troubles. When they gathered around a campfire, one of them said, “Before we do anything, I think we should first thank God that we have come this far with no loss of life, with no serious troubles, and that we have enough strength left to finish our journey.”  

There was silence. After that no one had any complaints. With a renewed perspective it seemed they really were fortunate. This is the transformation a thankful heart can make. This is being thankful In everything!

Do we need a new perspective in order to be thankful in everything? 

Creating Space for Community Listening

It seems nowadays there are many walls separating Christians from each other as well as from our neighbors. Our various beliefs, traditions and practices tend to isolate us from those with differing views and practices. It seems that, although we are not at war with each other, neither are we enjoying close relationships. 

I’ve been learning that the best way to tear down some of these walls is to build bridges of understanding by developing personal relationships with our neighbors; and that the best way to begin doing this is through effective listening.

The following strategy for “Creating Space for Community Listening,” is from a 2008 Christian Community Development Association (CCDA) meeting in Miami led by Delia Caderno & Michael Philip. This is a strategy for building ministry bridges to our neighbors.

“Simply described, Community Development is a process of  listening to the community, determining the assets and resources available, casting a vision for a preferred future and developing programs and activities that meet felt needs within the community.” 

• Relationships are crucial. Relationships are the building blocks for all community initiated activities. People won’t care unless they know YOU care. Relationships begin with listening to one another.

• We Listen to Discover and Map the Assets.

• We Listen to Make Connections. What do you have to share? What do others have to share that what will help you?

• We Listen to Identify the Community Stakeholders. Stakeholders are those that have a vested interest in something.

• Some Community Listening Strategies: Prayer Walking, Listening Conversations,  “Natural” Connections, Community Surveys, Community Convening.

• Listening to the Community is Transformational: Neighbors come together, Relationships are created, Community is celebrated, Venues are created where individual gifts are recognized and valued,  Generational and cultural bridges are created leading to action!

To discuss ways to create space for community listening in your Hampton Roads neighborhood contact Jim@weareOneChurch.com. 

How Are We Being With Our Neighbors?

When asked by one of the teachers of the law which of the commandments was the most important Jesus said, 29 “The most important one … is this: ‘Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one. 30 Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.’ 31 The second is this: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ There is no commandment greater than these.”   Mark 12

Loving our neighbors as ourselves flows out of our love relationships with Jesus. We are to “be with” our neighbors in ways that demonstrate his love for us.  So, how are we “being with” and loving our neighbors?

THE “IN” CHURCH is a church that is simply taking up space in their community. This church is centered only on its church members and has no interaction with its surrounding community. It has no ministry of presence with its neighbors.

THE “TO / FOR” CHURCH  is a church that wants to do good things for its community. This church decides internally what it is going to do for the community and, using its own money and influence, does activities to and for the community. Although this church is reaching out to its community it is not developing meaningful relationships with its neighbors.

THE “WITH” CHURCH acknowledges that God is already in the neighborhood so it listens to its neighbors, discovering what God is already doing. This church (with its gifts) partners with the community (with its gifts) for lasting change.

A with church is present with its neighbors listening to their dreams. It then helps to organize them around what they care enough about to act upon together. They may help to plant a community garden, provide food and housing to the homeless, or work to meet some other need the community cares about.

Think of the ministries of your church … 

Decide if each is an “In,” “To/For,” or “With” ministry … 

Are there any adjustments that need to be made?